i was born a porn star she said
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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