Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
