Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
