I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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