You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We need to rekindle our bromance
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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