that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
