How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
