you would pick up someone in the library
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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