He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
