he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize