i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
