We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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