Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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