so that wasnt chicken after all
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
