I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Those nachos came to me in a dream
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
