There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
