You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
