I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
