i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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