You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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