Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
