So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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