He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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