I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
