I smell stomach acid.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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