Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize