so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize