some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
