this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
