He asked me if I "almost moaned"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
