i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
