you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
