please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
