just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
