I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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