Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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