a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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