the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Acid is not a monday night drug
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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