I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
