Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He? As in you personified your dick?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
