Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
