Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I bet he comes in French.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
