you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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