So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sorry about my life...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize