Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
