Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
