ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
