dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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