My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Pants are for mortals
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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