Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
