He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
