does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just googled if crying burns calories
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
