Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
