You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
