Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
