I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize