At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
