doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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