carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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