After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You need a sexual gate keeper
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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