with your own penis?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
