I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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