No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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