i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
