I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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