Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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