Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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