he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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