You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
