what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
