I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
