it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
do herpes really smell.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
