Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
