I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize